it's been a year since your 24th birthday, the day when I forced myself to wake up at 4AM, drive to your home bearing cupcakes and birthday gift. this year, i forced myself to wake up even more earlier just to send you a video that I assembled for hours because you're 500km plus an island away.
I watch you grow. I watch you became the man that has a sparkly eyes. That doesn't fake his laughs anymore. That stopped wasting his time just because he feel like he doesn't want to struggle anymore. I watch you re-emerged from the life you often referred as "hell". I watch you finding a purpose to life rather than solemnly living for nothing.
Last year, I was looking with a man with a blank stare and no life in his eyes. When questioned about the future, he will simply say "my (insert relatives/family member/ex-gf/friends) says there's an opening in the (insert government agency/pharmacy companies/foreign farms) so maybe I'm going to apply". When questioned about his relationship with anybody he will simply say, "I haven't got the slightest idea how to really bond with anyone". When questioned about his family he will simply state that his family had their own needs that they need to attend to.
The very first month into our relationship, I saw an abusive, wreck-job kind of man who is trying to serve his purpose on keep breathing. I saw a man who neglects himself, rarely eats, never wash his car, without any penny on his pocket to spend. I saw someone who were asking for help.
Imagine living with someone who were trapped in his own darkest corner of his world, and all you're trying to do is bringing candles because you don't even have a light on you.
Day by day, I forced him to go out with his friends and enjoy a night out. Forced him to go to his relatives and family members to get to know their better side. Forced him to study (by asking too many questions about his field of work). Forced him to understand that everybody has feelings, and feelings were something we attend to. Teaching him to care about other people were as hard as teaching a 4 years old calculus.
One day he asked me, whether or not he should be a government workers.
I asked him back what he really wants with his life.
And he said, rather than being a government worker, right now he wants to use his profession to save lives. then he tells the story of how people around him kind of pressed him to enter the government worker employment exams.
And I said, do what you think is best for you. do what will make you proud of yourself.
Not because i don't want him to be a government workers, but rather because you can never get in between a man and his dream.
A year later, i feel like it's been paid off. I saw a glow in his eyes when he talk about his job. I saw his better version of himself when he started caring about others. The abusive wreck job that I knew was replaced by this kind, full of smile, selfless and sincere guy I don't even know. But I'm really happy to know him. And everytime I saw this guy with a smile, talking about how he saves lives everyday, I feel really proud of him. Proud that he finally found something that he can be proud of. Something that will bring joy to his life.
everybody has a past. everybody will have trials and tribulations.
F Scott Fitzgerald says:
For what it's worth: it's never too late to be whoever you want to be
I hope you live a life you're proud of,
And, if you find that you're not,
I hope you have the strength to start over.
Happy birthday.
it's been a year since your 24th birthday, the day when I forced myself to wake up at 4AM, drive to your home bearing cupcakes and birthday gift. this year, i forced myself to wake up even more earlier just to send you a video that I assembled for hours because you're 500km plus an island away.
I watch you grow. I watch you became the man that has a sparkly eyes. That doesn't fake his laughs anymore. That stopped wasting his time just because he feel like he doesn't want to struggle anymore. I watch you re-emerged from the life you often referred as "hell". I watch you finding a purpose to life rather than solemnly living for nothing.
Last year, I was looking with a man with a blank stare and no life in his eyes. When questioned about the future, he will simply say "my (insert relatives/family member/ex-gf/friends) says there's an opening in the (insert government agency/pharmacy companies/foreign farms) so maybe I'm going to apply". When questioned about his relationship with anybody he will simply say, "I haven't got the slightest idea how to really bond with anyone". When questioned about his family he will simply state that his family had their own needs that they need to attend to.
The very first month into our relationship, I saw an abusive, wreck-job kind of man who is trying to serve his purpose on keep breathing. I saw a man who neglects himself, rarely eats, never wash his car, without any penny on his pocket to spend. I saw someone who were asking for help.
Imagine living with someone who were trapped in his own darkest corner of his world, and all you're trying to do is bringing candles because you don't even have a light on you.
Day by day, I forced him to go out with his friends and enjoy a night out. Forced him to go to his relatives and family members to get to know their better side. Forced him to study (by asking too many questions about his field of work). Forced him to understand that everybody has feelings, and feelings were something we attend to. Teaching him to care about other people were as hard as teaching a 4 years old calculus.
One day he asked me, whether or not he should be a government workers.
I asked him back what he really wants with his life.
And he said, rather than being a government worker, right now he wants to use his profession to save lives. then he tells the story of how people around him kind of pressed him to enter the government worker employment exams.
And I said, do what you think is best for you. do what will make you proud of yourself.
Not because i don't want him to be a government workers, but rather because you can never get in between a man and his dream.
A year later, i feel like it's been paid off. I saw a glow in his eyes when he talk about his job. I saw his better version of himself when he started caring about others. The abusive wreck job that I knew was replaced by this kind, full of smile, selfless and sincere guy I don't even know. But I'm really happy to know him. And everytime I saw this guy with a smile, talking about how he saves lives everyday, I feel really proud of him. Proud that he finally found something that he can be proud of. Something that will bring joy to his life.
everybody has a past. everybody will have trials and tribulations.
F Scott Fitzgerald says:
For what it's worth: it's never too late to be whoever you want to be
I hope you live a life you're proud of,
And, if you find that you're not,
I hope you have the strength to start over.
Happy birthday.
.
Minggu, 27 September 2015
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diary /
thoughts /
very personal
Thank you so much for being my source of light
BalasHapusthank you so much for always trying to improve yourself
Hapus