For the first few minutes, I stare blankly at the screen, unsure on to write or not to write the post. But after a while, I'm sure that this experience will help some of you guys out there, somehow, if you happened to stumble into this.
(Note: I obscure all the names of people who were involved in this story for the sake of their goodwill. If there's any similarities to yours or people around you, I am truly sorry and please note that it's purely coincidental)
I was just got back home from taking my dog to a pet hospital to get his regular vaccine. I was on the phone with my fiancé for a few hours and I was ready to have some good sleep since its super sunny and humid out there. I was ready to take off into the la-la land when my phone starts ringing. It was my best friend for years, let's call her L.
At first, L sounds really shocked and out of breath. I asked her what's going on and she replied shortly, "I'm at the police station, and just giving a statement as to what happened,"
I wonder what was wrong, was something bad happened to her? I was so worried, when she continues, "do you remember N? your ex boyfriend N from *mentioning a junior high school name*"
I briefly dated N in junior high school, so it's a kind of puppy love. We met on a tutor school that I attended because my grade sunk on 8th grade. There's nothing serious between me and N, we just went to cinemas a couple of time and separated amicably after two months. Later we have no contact whatsoever towards each other, partly because I lost my phone and partly because he never contact me anymore. N is L's cousin from her mother's side, and I'm best friend for years with L ever since we knew each other. We have a dozen of mutual friends, that's why we stay close.
"What about N?" I can't hide my curiosity, because if it's involving police then it means they're on deep trouble, "And how come you got involved in this?"
L then proceeds to confide to me on what happened. After high school, N's father died, leaving his mother very devastated and married to an old guy from Sumatra and move the entire family there. N didn't move since he's just starting college in a fairly reputable university. N stays with L family for a while until they found out he's been sneaking in girls all the time.
So L's father kick him out, and N lived alone in a rented room near his college, but L's family still listed as N's parental and legal guardian. At this time L & N has no contact whatsoever. A few years back L had heard N got his girlfriend pregnant and forced her to abort it. The girl insisted on having the baby without a father, and her family flew in from east java to confront L's parents. To stop the commotion going around, L's family offer to take care of the baby and give the lady a settlement money--she took the settlement money. L then confronted N on what's been happening all these times and she found out that this is not the first girl he impregnates but all of them happily abort the babies.
L was so disgusted that she personally asked her parents to drop the guardianship--or basically drop N's name from the family registry, but her dad felt responsible on what happened to N because he kicked him out of the house, making his wild behavior uncontrollable. L then called N's mother to let her know what has happened to her son, but N's mother turned L with a cold shoulder, saying that the girl's intention from the start was after N's money.
She was ashamed on how her cousin treats woman without respect. As a woman, L felt that N was being condescending and disrespectful towards his exes--but she knows that nothing she could do about it and she's too ashamed to confide it, even to her fiancé.
A few years later--which was actually a few weeks ago, L's dad called her when she's out working, asked her to go to certain hospital in Jakarta (L resides in South Tangerang and worked in Bogor), to check on the news that N has been hospitalized and was unconscious because he was beaten. L then drove all the way to that hospital only to found out that there's an entire family of N's new girlfriend waiting for her there.
L never knew that this new girl exist--let's call her D, let alone knew that she's one month pregnant with N's baby. D was a shy young girl of only 18 years old and just got into college in 2014. Apparently, not only she was pregnant, she also made videos--or sex tapes--with N in over a few months after they started dating. When she found out she was pregnant, she confides to N asking his hand for marriage and responsibilities, but N refuses. D then confides to her parents telling what N and her had been doing. When the parents come to talk to N, N uses the video as a leverage to get away from the responsibilities he should've taken--as a result, he was beaten by D's father and brother.
If only the story were finished there--no. N's mother came all the way from Sumatra and took the case to the police and suing D's father and brother. They retaliate on suing N for extortion--because apparently N also asks money for that video. And thus, L and her family trapped down the witness island.
After L told me the stories, I couldn't be more shocked as to what happened. I knew N as a compassionate boy, a very religious church-goers, an amazing friend and a good listener. Nothing on L's stories that made any sense to me. The boy I knew from years ago wasn't the one she'd been describing over the phone. He can even harm a flea!
Then I wonder, where did things go wrong? Was it the dead of his father? Was it because his mother remarried? Was it because he was kicked out of the house? I never knew and I'm too afraid to ask. I don't want to imagine of a guy I barely dated and had a puppy love with could do something amazingly cruel and selfish.
I confided this story to my fiancé. That somehow I felt lucky I escaped something I didn't know before. That somehow I knew I'm in a better place. That somehow I regret all of this happening to him. I took a nap and sadly after that nap I didn't feel refreshed at all. I even was wondering, if I stay with him at that time, will all this happened?
We never did anything stupid together, thank God. But knowing how his life dwindled so fast in less than a decade, I'm so worried that this might happened to other people around me. For how long he has been asking for his girlfriend to abort their pregnancies, nobody knows for sure. For how long he has felt those pain that urges him to hurt other people, nobody knows. What if someone stays with him through those hard times and encourages him to do better? What if he had a shoulder to lean on and to tell all of his feeling? Maybe he won't do things like this. Maybe he'll stay the humble and nice boy I knew.
This doesn't mean I want to get back with him. Like all my friends used to say, I have a tiny bit more compassion and empathy than most people. But some people, like how my brother always put it, are lost causes and there's nothing you can do about them.
Because God can't be more cruel than letting you taste your own medicine, that’s why.
For the first few minutes, I stare blankly at the screen, unsure on to write or not to write the post. But after a while, I'm sure that this experience will help some of you guys out there, somehow, if you happened to stumble into this.
(Note: I obscure all the names of people who were involved in this story for the sake of their goodwill. If there's any similarities to yours or people around you, I am truly sorry and please note that it's purely coincidental)
I was just got back home from taking my dog to a pet hospital to get his regular vaccine. I was on the phone with my fiancé for a few hours and I was ready to have some good sleep since its super sunny and humid out there. I was ready to take off into the la-la land when my phone starts ringing. It was my best friend for years, let's call her L.
At first, L sounds really shocked and out of breath. I asked her what's going on and she replied shortly, "I'm at the police station, and just giving a statement as to what happened,"
I wonder what was wrong, was something bad happened to her? I was so worried, when she continues, "do you remember N? your ex boyfriend N from *mentioning a junior high school name*"
I briefly dated N in junior high school, so it's a kind of puppy love. We met on a tutor school that I attended because my grade sunk on 8th grade. There's nothing serious between me and N, we just went to cinemas a couple of time and separated amicably after two months. Later we have no contact whatsoever towards each other, partly because I lost my phone and partly because he never contact me anymore. N is L's cousin from her mother's side, and I'm best friend for years with L ever since we knew each other. We have a dozen of mutual friends, that's why we stay close.
"What about N?" I can't hide my curiosity, because if it's involving police then it means they're on deep trouble, "And how come you got involved in this?"
L then proceeds to confide to me on what happened. After high school, N's father died, leaving his mother very devastated and married to an old guy from Sumatra and move the entire family there. N didn't move since he's just starting college in a fairly reputable university. N stays with L family for a while until they found out he's been sneaking in girls all the time.
So L's father kick him out, and N lived alone in a rented room near his college, but L's family still listed as N's parental and legal guardian. At this time L & N has no contact whatsoever. A few years back L had heard N got his girlfriend pregnant and forced her to abort it. The girl insisted on having the baby without a father, and her family flew in from east java to confront L's parents. To stop the commotion going around, L's family offer to take care of the baby and give the lady a settlement money--she took the settlement money. L then confronted N on what's been happening all these times and she found out that this is not the first girl he impregnates but all of them happily abort the babies.
L was so disgusted that she personally asked her parents to drop the guardianship--or basically drop N's name from the family registry, but her dad felt responsible on what happened to N because he kicked him out of the house, making his wild behavior uncontrollable. L then called N's mother to let her know what has happened to her son, but N's mother turned L with a cold shoulder, saying that the girl's intention from the start was after N's money.
She was ashamed on how her cousin treats woman without respect. As a woman, L felt that N was being condescending and disrespectful towards his exes--but she knows that nothing she could do about it and she's too ashamed to confide it, even to her fiancé.
A few years later--which was actually a few weeks ago, L's dad called her when she's out working, asked her to go to certain hospital in Jakarta (L resides in South Tangerang and worked in Bogor), to check on the news that N has been hospitalized and was unconscious because he was beaten. L then drove all the way to that hospital only to found out that there's an entire family of N's new girlfriend waiting for her there.
L never knew that this new girl exist--let's call her D, let alone knew that she's one month pregnant with N's baby. D was a shy young girl of only 18 years old and just got into college in 2014. Apparently, not only she was pregnant, she also made videos--or sex tapes--with N in over a few months after they started dating. When she found out she was pregnant, she confides to N asking his hand for marriage and responsibilities, but N refuses. D then confides to her parents telling what N and her had been doing. When the parents come to talk to N, N uses the video as a leverage to get away from the responsibilities he should've taken--as a result, he was beaten by D's father and brother.
If only the story were finished there--no. N's mother came all the way from Sumatra and took the case to the police and suing D's father and brother. They retaliate on suing N for extortion--because apparently N also asks money for that video. And thus, L and her family trapped down the witness island.
After L told me the stories, I couldn't be more shocked as to what happened. I knew N as a compassionate boy, a very religious church-goers, an amazing friend and a good listener. Nothing on L's stories that made any sense to me. The boy I knew from years ago wasn't the one she'd been describing over the phone. He can even harm a flea!
Then I wonder, where did things go wrong? Was it the dead of his father? Was it because his mother remarried? Was it because he was kicked out of the house? I never knew and I'm too afraid to ask. I don't want to imagine of a guy I barely dated and had a puppy love with could do something amazingly cruel and selfish.
I confided this story to my fiancé. That somehow I felt lucky I escaped something I didn't know before. That somehow I knew I'm in a better place. That somehow I regret all of this happening to him. I took a nap and sadly after that nap I didn't feel refreshed at all. I even was wondering, if I stay with him at that time, will all this happened?
We never did anything stupid together, thank God. But knowing how his life dwindled so fast in less than a decade, I'm so worried that this might happened to other people around me. For how long he has been asking for his girlfriend to abort their pregnancies, nobody knows for sure. For how long he has felt those pain that urges him to hurt other people, nobody knows. What if someone stays with him through those hard times and encourages him to do better? What if he had a shoulder to lean on and to tell all of his feeling? Maybe he won't do things like this. Maybe he'll stay the humble and nice boy I knew.
This doesn't mean I want to get back with him. Like all my friends used to say, I have a tiny bit more compassion and empathy than most people. But some people, like how my brother always put it, are lost causes and there's nothing you can do about them.
Because God can't be more cruel than letting you taste your own medicine, that’s why.
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Senin, 09 Maret 2015
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diary
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